It was summer time, and that also meant survey time for Bridgeman Analytics.
The Houston-based firm was well known for its local surveys, and its executives undertook surveys with a fervor that bordered on obsession.
This summer, they were ##ed by one of the largest Texas-based businesses to figure out how much Texans cared about climate change and global warming.
The null hypothesis was that they did not care about it too much, though they knew the basics.
Or did they?
That was the task set for Jude & Rebecca, the two young associates tasked with interviewing folks to figure out their knowledge of climate change and CO2 emissions.
“Let’s hit the big mall over there,” said Rebecca and Jude agreed that it could be an ideal starting point. Surely, they can have a chat with at least a few dozen people.
Before they kicjked off the first interview, the two had a bet between themselves. Jude bet that the first guy they interviewed would know something about CO2, while Rebecca thought he would know next to nothing.
They chose the first chap at random. He looked pretty normal, thought Jude. Not certainly a redneck if looks were anything to go by. She was fairly confident of being richer by ten dollars.
It was decided that Jude would interview him.
“Hello there,” started Jude.
“You talking to me?” balked the guy.
“Yes, of course. Got a minute for climate change?”
“What change?”
“Climate change”
“Climate change…hmmm”…he looked at her suspiciously. “Where are you from?”
“Bridgeman Analytics”
“So what about it?”
“We do market surveys and opinion polls”
“So where do I come in?”
“We want to know whether you have heard about climate change”
“Perhaps I have,” he still sounded highly suspicious of the whole thing.
“Well, have you or have you not?” insisted Jude.
“Let’s say I have”
“I take it that you have. Now, here is the question: Do you know which is the most important greenhouse gas that causes climate change?”
“Climate change is caused by seasons,” insisted Bill
“No, sir. We humans are also part of the reason”
“Says who?”
“Thousands of expert scientists”
“All right, may be they are right.”
Jude felt he was the last shmuck she wanted to ever interview, but she had to get this interview to an end.
“Sir, now that I have convinced you that climate change is caused at least partly by us, do you know the gas that is mainly responsible for climate change?”
“I tell you, those scientists are wrong. Climate change has existed for over hundred million years”
Jude wanted to tonk him over his head. Should he pull out of the interview? Surely no one else in the mall could be as big a jerk as this moron.
“But let’s say, pretty thing, that I am convinced about what you say, what is it you want from me?”
“Do you know what gas is the main reason for climate change?”
“Nopes”
Jude thought she would give him a clue.
“It starts with a C”
Bill simply shook his head and did not venture an answer.
“Well, the gas also has oxygen in it”
Bill finally appeared to be thinking, but gave up after about 20 seconds. “Can’t get it buddy, sorry”
Jude could not believe it. She had practically given him the answer, and yet…
Morons, she muttered within herself, and turned to hand her the ten dollars.
Just then she heard Bill son, who had been opening a beverage can, says, “Papa. there’s no fizz in the drink”
Bill scowled, “The idiots must have forgotten to add CO2”
Jude added an additional ten dollars to Rebecca.